So for once, things just happened and turned our candidate did not noshowFAIL or drugtestFAIL or backgroundcheckFAIL. My candidate accepted the offer without dicking around, showed up on time for her first day, has impressed everyone she’s met, and EVEN sent a really nice thank you note to me. I, in turn, will take her [...]

Here’s a new one.  I have a small client getting ready to open a new office on the other side of town, which happens to barely be across a county line.  Their IT guru – who I placed there and makes next to nothing – has a statutory rape conviction on his record.  Prior to [...]

Last night I went out to dinner with a friend when a candidate from like 4 years ago sees me and waves. I wave back politely, because I’m not always a dick and I figured a polite wave would stave the candidate from coming over while I was in mid-meal.

He comes over and practically pulls [...]

One of my major sources of revenue is a guy who sells burger franchises.  I find people that want to get into the business, he pays me for getting them together, and then I recruit for the new franchise.  This is a long, arduous process but it turns into mailbox money after a while, since [...]

So all three of the Elvii live in a large, metropolitan area. We know that sometimes there’s TRAFFIC. Like, LOTS of traffic. Like, if you have an interview, maybe you should shit, shower, shave more than an hour before you need to be there.

I get a phone call at 7:35. My candidate is supposed to [...]

I have a client that just fired laid off all of their franchise babysitters and area / regional types.  Their line of thinking is that they’ll replace all of these 100K people with other fired laid off leadership people for 60K.  Their sales are in the toilet and this move didn’t exactly help matters.  Of [...]

I think I should get a big bottle of Stoli and have my own personal drinking game at work.

When a client says they are going through a hiring freeze after requesting 10 resumes for a position that took at least 5 hours of time to find, take a shot.

When a client says they are going [...]

So there’s a great opportunity I am dealing with in Tampa for a Director level position for a restaurant chain. Due to travel restrictions by the hiring authority my “superstar” Blair and the ops guy had to meet at 7PM on Monday at a chain restaurant in Ybor City. I get a text [...]

I am incredibly transparent when it comes to salaries when I’m recruiting you. I’m gonna tell you how much they are looking to pay in the beginning. Then again when I pique your interest. Then a third time before I set up the interview.

This is my sweet, Southern way of saying, “You jizzbag. If you [...]

These were from an ad for a Director of Business Development on Craigslist in the Florida panhandle.

Dear employer,

I am currently applying to your company. I feel that I am qualified for this position available.  If you were to wonder why you should choose me over the many other candidates that are also applying, my answer [...]