I am working with a rather nice Japanese restaurant chain that is looking for a Director of PR. Japanese fluency is a requirement, as the hands-on ownership doesn’t speak much English and there are trips to Tokyo involved.
Obviously, the ideal candidate is a American of Japanese descent that grew up speaking both in the home and it’s gotten out in the industry today that I am working the account. PR was one of the first areas slashed in the great economic toilet flush of the last couple of years, so quite a few people want a crack at it. Of course, how many of these people speak Japanese?
Correct, zero. So today has been full of people spending five minutes introducing and selling themselves to me, then I ask if they speak Japanese, they say “no, but…” and I cut them off, say that’s a deal breaker, thank them for calling, and hang up. Then they call me back and start coming up with creative excuses to get around the language barrier. Apparently half of America has my fucking cell number, and it’s the half not working.
“I can hire a translator when I need one.”
“I’ll go buy Rosetta Stone and bust my ass learning the language for 6 hours a day.”
“I have a translation iPhone app and Japanese is one of the listed languages.”
“My kid loves J-Pop and can teach me the vital phrases.”
I understand the Hail Mary’s, but you are wasting my fucking time. And your own.