I have another industry leader type client that is the most disorganized group of humans I’ve ever had the displeasure of working with. People in the field tell the home office to fuck off, HR is in a million places at once, and corporate level leadership is more concerned about typing out inevitably ignored memos than grabbing this shit with both hands and fixing it. Everyone is fucking everyone else, both literally and figuratively, and everyone involved with them blames their situation as “struggling with new ownership”, even though that was three-plus years ago. When the operators don’t respect corporate, you know you have problems.
I learned pretty early on that the best way to get through to them is not to bitch about what an utter waste of time they are or to kiss their collective ass, but to completely ignore them long enough for them to request a lunch meeting. Then I get a free steak and a sympathy hire or two, and then this cycle starts over.
All of the junior types in my office cream their My Little Pony Underroos at the prospect of working with this client, as name recognition is high and the fee is above average. They hear “lunch meeting” and get jealous, like I am being handed SEKRET reqs or something.
So Wednesday was the meeting, and much to my surprise the CEO and the COO was there, along with the HR Director. The idiot corporate recruiter I have the privilege of interfacing with when I decide to work with them was conspicuously absent. I am invited to share why I am not helping them find people, since I placed six with them in 09 and haven’t even sent over a resume this year.
The question now is, do I want to mouth off or kiss their asses?
I told them that if they wanted to put me on the payroll to source candidates we could negotiate, but my job is to get my folks hired and get paid, and it is easier to do with my other clients. There’s several people in my office that love you guys to death and send over tons of resumes that get lost in your abyss. I choose not to until you get your shit together. On top of it all, you use every agency in the universe.
Two million dollars a year is staring holes through me. I am not Billy Badass by any means, but there’s really no reason for me to be quiet if I am not sending them people, and I have nothing to lose by giving an outsider’s view of their system. Well, the silence afterward was ridiculously awkward. At this point, I decide dessert is a bad idea. I shake hands and get the hell out of there.
I’m not even onto the freeway yet and the fucking corporate recruiter calls me and pleads with me to help him find someone in Norfolk. I ask if he’s talked to his boss in the last ten minutes and he says no. I tell him he probably needs to, and to call me afterward.
I haven’t heard a peep from them since.